#anyways tldr i hate my job

[todayisafridaynight]

Since you mentioned it, what did you think of Speak No Evil? I was thinking of watching it myself :0

i really liked it ............ my friend scoffed at me when i told her i was watchin it so take my opinion with a grain of salt tho </3

[trappedinchemicalplantzone]

My friend is wondering if you've done their request yet?.. 😅

uhm,, I only have one in my inbox rn (they're not anonymous but I won't name them) and I haven't gotten to it yet since I just received it today, it could take me a few hours to get to it or it can take me a few days, it just depends on how my energy level and if I dont get to it today it is unlikely I'll get to it until friday cause i have work, but you never know! If it's not posted, assume I haven't gotten to it yet and please be patient! I promise to try and get to any requests I get!! I just can't promise how fast I'll get to them.

Also not directed at the asker here so I'm putting it under the cut but just gonna state it while on the topic, that I'm not getting paid for making these and simply doing it because I want to engage with the community! Also I have the right to deny any requests I get, I haven't gotten any yet that I've rejected but just something to keep in mind!

Also if you really want me to draw something for you and you want it done right away, pay me! my commissions are open and I promise they would be much higher quality than these request doodles! Just because I'm a smaller artist doesn't mean people should just expect free art from me. I'm doing this for fun, and if I stop having fun with these or if they cause me too much stress, I will close them.

anyways long post but thanks for reading! and I will try and get to requests, and ik anon didn't mean anything by it but please try and not send me stuff like this, it feels like I'm being rushed and that can kill my motivation a bit. Also I'm not being paid so there's no obligations. other than that, everyone's been so nice here and I'm very thankful for the very small following I currently have!

[desperatecheesecubes]

Not to self: you should probably stop saying 'yeah yeah let me swallow first' before answering the phone at work. But also people should stop calling when I'm eating my granola bar c'mon now.

[cheswirls]

also one last uni post. maybe a little gripe. finally taking 2nd cour digital art after 3 semesters and instead of being Adobe Illustrator™ class with a sprinkle of photoshop (actually i will give her one point. for one illustrator project she did have us use audacity for a portion and taught us how to corrupt wav files into still imgs) it is now Adobe CC™ class with zero illustrator, more photoshop, and an app-exclusive drawing program only available thru CC (she has lost the one point indefinitely.) the only silver lining is premiere pro is the other software being taught which i would love to learn to do more with. on the other hand. the student examples she skimmed thru to show off the PP project were not inspiring and i feel like if i have to incorporate video aspects into my art it is quickly going to become more abt checking off rubric boxes to get a decent grade instead of doing smth i want

[enkephallic]

Limbus Company: Deep Analysis of Sin

So, I decided to take a deeper dive into the different sin types in Limbus Company.

The TLDR Version:

Wrath - Unable to accept something

Lust - Having a strong desire

Sloth - Losing sight

Gluttony - Satisfaction-seeking

Gloom - Controlled by pain

Pride - Contempt of others/selfishness

Envy - Desire to surpass

Regarding the sinners' skills, the sin position is important as well. A S1 sin is a surface-level appearance, but S3 represents something deep inside them.

The detailed explanations are under the cut!

Wrath

Wrath, on the surface level, can present as being irritable or hard to get along with.

Wrath S1 examples

LCB Ishmael, who seems irritable and nitpicky at first.

Seven Heathcliff "Why am I doing this stupid job?"

Hook Office Hong Lu "Don't speak so softly, I'll feel homicidal"

S2 gets closer to how they really feel. The feeling of wrath comes from the feeling of "I can't accept this" - whether it's how they're being treated, how their environment is, etc.

Wrath S2 examples

LCB Heathcliff (past speculation) - Discriminated, mistreated, resenting what's happening to him

LCB Sinclair (past) - I don't want to get prosthetics

W Corp Hong Lu - Bored with his job.

And S3 wrath represents a strong rejection - they won't accept Anything they deem contrary to their own beliefs and ideals. It is a violent refusal.

Wrath S3 examples

N corp identities who are brainwashed - Kill all the dissenters and heretics.

Pequod Ishmael - "It's MY way or the HIGHWAY, god damn it!" (Throws a fit if another ID kills an enemy)

R Corp Ishmael - Hates it to the point she's looking for Singularity information of old R corp

LCB Rodya - I can't accept this armchair revolution and endless poverty. I have to kill this old windbag.

Lust

Lust in this case is a pursuit of something non-physical - a relationship, an ideal, a core element of your self. On the surface level, this can present as really wanting to be something.

Lust S1 Examples

LCB Don Quixote - Wants to become a great Fixer.

W Corp Ryoshu - Wants to be a great artist.

Sous Chef Gregor - Wants to improve his cooking.

S2 is a little stronger than just normal desire. They will willingly hurt other people or trample them to achieve their goal.

Lust S2 Examples

Tingtang Gangleader Hong Lu - Uses violence and is callous to those invading his turf

The One Who Grips Faust - Massacres Sinclair's village to get what she wants

LCB Ryoshu - Her idea of beauty ties in with violence

S3 is a little different - It's desiring something so badly on an existential level. It's pretty much what they live for.

Lust S3 Examples

R.B. Chef Ryoshu - Needs to be one of the Eight. Will stop at nothing to achieve this.

N Corp Heathcliff - Not brainwashed, doesn't really want to be. Wants to preserve his "true self".

G Corp Gregor - After an irreversible transformation, fully believes his reason to exist is to be a killing machine.

Interestingly, both LCB Heathcliff and Hong Lu have a Lust S3.

Sloth

Sloth is inaction, watching from the sidelines, not seeing what is in front of you. This can start with just simply being misguided, believing something to be true when it's not.

Sloth S1 Examples

W Corp Don Quixote - "I am working at a Wing!! CHOO CHOO!! Sally forth!!"

LCB Outis - Her piss-poor act of blind acceptance and obedience.

LCB Meursault - It is simply none of my business if Sinclair hyperventilates and vomits on the floor.

S2 sloth is more purposeful, not taking action when one should or purposefully being ignorant of reality.

LCB Faust - Does not tell Dante and the others a lot of information and doesn't stop sinners from running amok.

LCB Hong Lu - Despite being perceptive, does not seem to register bad situations as bad or react to pain appropriately.

G Corp Gregor - This feels wrong but I'll just continue with it anyway.

S3 sloth is a total loss of vision, not being able to see what's important to them. Losing sight of all they used to desire, and doing nothing about it.

Dieci IDs - Lost their memory and doesn't even remember what was most important to them.

K Corp Hong Lu - Doesn't seem to mind his total loss of freedom and autonomy, despite desiring freedom in other IDs.

LCB Yi Sang - Could not care about anything he once loved or aspired to be, until he was able to gain his wings once more.

Blade Lineage Don Quixote - Once used her strength to fight alongside her comrades, but now kills for purely her own sake.

Gluttony

Gluttony is a desire to be satisfied, whether it's something material or psychological. This can present like greed or selfishness at first sight.

S1 Gluttony Examples

LCB Rodya - "I want meat, I want money, I want to gamble!"

LCB Ryoshu - "Let me smoke. Let me do as I please."

Lantern EGO Don Quixote - Curious about the abnormalities and wanting to know more about them

S2 Gluttony is wanting more at a crucial point in their life, or desiring more than they could chew. It could also mean getting hooked into something or addicted.

S2 Gluttony Examples

LCB Ishmael - "I quit my job, I need something that's not labour hellscape... Hm? That hag can sure talk..."

R Corp Heathcliff - Began deriving enjoyment from killing

N Corp Don Quixote - Didn't even need the brainwashing, got hooked onto the N Corp ideology herself

S3 Gluttony seems to be the final stage of seeking what they desire - being satisfied, even when they shouldn't be.

S3 Gluttony Examples

Tingtang Gangleader Hong Lu - Seems completely happy and enjoying himself

Seven Heathcliff - Actually learned to like his job

W Corp Hong Lu - Doesn't want praise or a raise, just fine with how things are now

Gloom

Gloom represents pain, and how it affects how the person treats their situation or other people. On the surface level, they may appear melancholic or having given up.

S1 Gloom Examples

LCB Yi Sang, LCB Gregor - Self explanatory.

Rosespanner Meursault - Crushed by work

R Corp Ishmael - Headache, pain, does not like it here

S2 Gloom is a moment of despair, when something in their heart was broken. This may also involve guilt and inflicting pain.

W Corp Don Quixote and most W Corp IDs (Except Hong Lu and Ryoshu) - The shocking reveal of what W Corp really is.

N Corp Heathcliff - "What the hell am I even doing??"

Lobotomy EGO Heathcliff - "All my friends are dead."

S3 Gloom can represent letting their pain affect how they treat others. Lashing out, being insensitive to others' pain, or simply giving up and accepting the hurt as inescapable.

W Corp Yi Sang - Abandoned hopes for freedom, just wants it to hurt a little less

G Corp Outis - Knows she cannot escape the unfair treatment

LCB Ishmael - Lashes out and hurts others because she is deeply hurting, making it more painful for her too

Pride

Pride is the belief that they are different from other people, and so the rules don't apply to them. This can seem as arrogance at first, even if they are not actually like that.

S1 Pride Examples

LCB Sinclair - Rich boy 1

LCB Hong Lu - Rich boy 2

LCB Faust - Doesn't hide that she thinks she's better than everyone else

S2 Pride can contain disdain for other people, and believing they are better than those around them. Therefore, their actions can be excused in their eyes.

S2 Pride Examples

LCB Meursault and LCB Outis - Competent and they know it themselves. Outis thinks of her comrades as dirt and points and laughs when they die.

W Corp Ryoshu - Her art comes from chopping up the dead and deformed passengers, doesn't give a single shit about them

LCB Rodya - Believed she was special enough to make a difference and split the hag's skull.

S3 pride goes a step further - their own desires take precedence over anyone else's. They may even see other people's lives as literally the same as a blade of grass. If they want something, they'll trample everything and anything.

S3 Pride Examples

The One Who Grips Faust - Probably doesn't even give a shit about the grand ideology or her minions. Just did it because she could, and wanted to.

The Middle Little Sister Don Quixote - "I can kill anyone who disrespected my organization!"

LCB Ryoshu - Has the littlest regard for human life.

Envy

Envy can start out with the simple desire to surpass someone, to become better than others. To want more than what other people have.

S1 Envy Examples

Tingtang Gangleader Hong Lu - Began wanting to be stronger, to have more power.

LCB Heathcliff - Rich bastards are annoying, they don't deserve it more than I do

Shi Ishmael - Just wants to survive in a world of dog eat dog

S2 envy is the need to be better than what you once were, to surpass yourself and get something accomplished.

S2 Envy Examples

LCB Yi Sang - Bettered his own craft and created the mirror.

Pequod Members - Lay their past self to rest, and opted to hunt the whale.

R.B. Chef Ryoshu - Wants to make better and better pies

S3 Envy is the result of their desire to surpass - or that they have accomplished something, but with a heavy price.

S3 Envy Examples

W Corp Ryoshu - Extremely powerful, but her sword will suck up her health if she doesn't charge it properly.

R Corp Heathcliff - Gained insane power but lost something important to him in the process.

LCB Sinclair - Was able to avoid getting prosthetics but his whole family dead.

Pequod Heathcliff - Managed to get out of the Middle but is covered in scars he can't erase.

I will continue to write more specific theories, but this is how I feel about the sin affinities right now! I'd love to write about EGO and enemies as well soon.

[ripromulus]

i think what i love and hate about bbh’s roleplay is that he rp’s his character in real time. like, he establishes he is sick, and we don’t see the symptoms until months later. he gets hurt, and we see his wounds grow everyday, but it’s so subtle that you have to check namemc everytime he goes live.

he does a great job in immersing the character into the world and makes it feel realistic.

but i hate it bc IVE BEEN WATCHING THIS MAN ACTIVELY DIE AND DETERIORATE FOR ABOUT 2 MONTHS NOW

WHEN WILL IT END

WHEN WILL THE SUFFERING END

FREE ME FROM MY SHACKLES

anyways, great rp

tldr; bbh lore is for those who are crazy enough to sit through hours of content

[jackiemoonshine]

Ok I have to rant about Easthies because he gets so much hate but I love the character so much! I posted about this a minute ago on Reddit but he's such a fascinating character to me, from the start. I just have a thing about dark haired men with an inflexible moral code, ok? And after the last chapter, I FEEL AN EASTHIES BACKSTORY and like,

I am DYING for it. I feel like I'm the only Easthies lover in the world -- not because I agree with him or his actions, or because I find him likable. But he's obviously has strong convictions, strong enough to make him scary and unshakeable in his stances and I find that intriguing in a character.

He's a true lawful neutral in my view. Some people clearly see him as just a power hungry jackass who likes to bully people, but I think the author has clearly set up some kind of backstory explanation and I'm SO HERE FOR IT. I'm hoping for major trauma, angst etc regarding forbidden magic and/or memory erasure. Maybe somebody close to him used forbidden magic and had their memory erased? Maybe he lost a loved one who had their memory erased as a result of forbidden magic? Ugh I'm dying!! I can't wait!

Also- It's really interesting to examine the difference in the fan culture between how fans talk about Easthies vs Qifrey. Yes, Easthies is often too quick to erase memories, but it IS his job and is done in service to what he considers the greater good of the world and society as a whole, often without consideration of his personal goals. Our king Qifrey on the other hand, has been shown to erase memories of those he LOVES in order to pursue his individual desires unhindered, and yet has not received even a fraction of the backlash Easthies has. For me personally, I had a much stronger reaction to Qifrey's action in ch. 40 vs anything Easthies has done, because even though Easthies is an overreactive zealot, he at least seems to truly believe he's acting for the greater good. Qifrey knew he was being selfish and manipulative -- and did it anyways. Maybe has done it multiple times.

TLDR; it just fascinates me to think about how different people interact with these characters and their actions and also I love Easthies

[cator99]

The conversation went like this: general pleasantries followed by her being like I'm so relieved you reached out to me because I really just want to have a more positive relationship with all of you guys and I know how annoying it is when a landlord isn't able to deal with things in a timely manner I get it I'm a renter too... i get the sense that, just as i had over-prepared for the conversation, she had over-prepared to apologize for the fact that the basement bathroom has a recurring leak issues that get patched up and then continue to cause issues meanwhile she's literally going through a divorce and has to keep postponing because she wants to be there when the repair dudes come to make sure they're doing their job properly but she has a big trial coming up and had to put it off by another week, it's really no big deal tbh... I assured her that she's been doing a fantastic job at staying on top of things and communicating with us oh my fucking god okay new girl is banging that fugly creepy white boy she keeps bringing over so god damn loud l cant wait for her to gtfo anyways yeah so we basically just spent 10 minutes getting on the same page like we good we good she just wants to make sure that everyone is chill in the house and we had a really good talk about what we all want from this but TLDR once we got down to business it went like this:

Me: Pins Girl is the problem

Her: omg slay I fucking hate her please go on

Me: yaaaas she fucking sucks here's some tea sis....

Her: ok work so I'm not crazy for being like maddd uncomfortable around her like one time this thing happened...

Me: omg lol no seriously she's vile here's another wild example related to your anecdote....

Her: no way bestie she did that to me too. Just 0 to 100 in an instant I didnt even know what to do just being accused of every -ism under the sun

Me: yeah no that's just kind of how things go with her you cant get so much as an innocent Hello in without her immediately labeling it a hostile attack

Her: yas okay good riddance so what's the deal with this new girl she's her friend should I be concerned

Me: oh girl.......... so, no not really she's a sweetheart and also– thank god– fully employed. Absolutelyyy messy as hell tho so that's one of my biggest concerns. I think it would be best if you didn't add her to the lease no shade but she's really not a great fit since we're all older and chill and clean af

Her: ...and the rest of the concerns? Oh my god do you think [PG] will try to move back in if we decline her friend???

Me: no wayy she wants OUT out she's already got a new place lined up and her shit in boxes at the door waiting to be hauled off forever

Her: omg like. Far? Like is she moving far? Please tell me she's moving sooo far

Me: yes lmao dont even worry I dont know the exacts but it's nowhere even near here

Her: okay slayyyyy thank you for being dope as hell it's such a relief that this crazy person is gone so we can all just chilllll

Me: okay so about that

Her: ohhh no

Me: yes so you already know what we're dealing with. You know how she deemed me unworthy of being on speaking terms with her? I didn't mind that at all and really just kept tf to myself. Then suddenly she moves in this friend of hers and I just assumed this was done with some sort of approval from you, because that would be the normal thing to do.

Her: okay that's kind of wack, do you guys not like get a vote on these sorts of things

Me: I stayed out of it plus like I'm really not gonna start questioning her and risk putting myself in the line of fire and everyone is pretty much in that position as well

Her: omg no fr...

Me: so like I just kept to myself and my work without thinking about it... then I find out she was living here totally off the record when PG sent that email requesting that she be added to the lease. That's when the conversation opened up. And listen this new girl is super young super naive didnt realize that she was even doing anything wrong and then suddenly everyone's totally freaking out and realizing that this goes against the lease agreement and that if you find out, our ability to live here is jeopardized. She got us into hot water and then just... left us to deal with the consequences.

Her: she's still legally bound by the lease until it changes so if anything goes wrong she wont be escaping accountability no matter how many -isms she throws at me. I want this to work for all of us and we got this trust thang between us and I wouldn't evict you guys omg evictions are seriously sooo annoying and *most* of you have been great tenants especially (names everyone except for the unemployed ftm) they're all super chill and mature and we've had great conversations so yeah I'm just glad she's gone

Me: incredible yaas I love honesty. She has been actively impeding our ability to have a productive working relationship with you and each other it's so crazy

Her: literallyyyy😁🥂��yipeee

Me: yippee yaaaaay yay 😇☝️💯

Her: okay so my game plan is to interview the new girl irl like no zoom bs I really wanna read her vibes and decide if this is worth it... I'll give her a chance but if that doesn't work out... I mean... tee hee..... the yearly house inspection is coming up...

Me: ok that's so dope. She's gonna be moving upstairs once PG vacates so its gonna be pretty hard to hide the fact someone's right there even just doing a quick walk-through

Her: yeah so if things don't go well and I decide against putting her on the lease and they still don't admit to having her there then at least I can talk to them about it when the inspection happens and be chill about it and pretend like I totally had no idea. We can work something out as long as everything is good you know what I mean... okay if you need anything at all dont even hesitate to give me a call

Me: absolutely and if I have any updates I'll let you know ASAP, lmk if you need anything srsly I dont want to cause you any more stress like from what i understand you've had a stressful enough year

Her: yes good lord i have, thank you for being considerate..... seriously it's been hellish and this conversation has been such a relief

etc etc obviously the conversation was longer and more thorough but you get the gist. She's awesome. We hung up and I skipped my way to the grocery store

[kkoffin]

You know what I would actually love to see? Productive liberal feminism. Because I have friends that I would call genuine liberal feminists, and I don’t think mainstream liberal feminism is at all what it should be.

In theory, right, if liberal feminism is feminist action through law, policy and regulation through existing institutions, it could do good things. Theorising about a feminist revolution and a perfect world, talk of culture and separatism is great and all, but we need to fix the world we currently live in so it’s friendlier to women as well, and i believe that’s what liberal feminism should be. There’s things to improve upon through law in the western world, but moreover there’s countless of things to fix and change in other countries to help women. I do honestly believe this kind of feminism is equal or even more important than radical/cultural feminism. I’ve considered shifting my own focus to things like this, considering I’m studying law and crime anyways.

A productive liberal feminism movement could help illegalize FGM worldwide, remove mandatory hijab or covering laws, have harsher punishments for offenders in honour killings. It could get more women into parliament, force law enforcement to take sexual crimes and hate crimes against women more seriously. It has done good in past, no doubt: such as laws surrounding what questions can be asked to the victim in sexual assault or rape cases, and what personal information of the victim the jury can be provided with.

But unfortunately, reality is that historically, liberal feminism has been extremely individualistic, and focused only on upper-class white women (See: Betty Friedan in the 1960s telling women that the solution to their problems (emotionally) is to get a job and get out of the house - whilst most working-class and WOC already had a job, or were working too much from home to consider a job. She came to this conclusion because she only talked to and researched upper-class white women)

Gail Dines often says liberal feminism operates on a basis of “If i’m happy then fuck you”. The fact alone that liberal feminism nowadays focuses on “Empowerment” rather than looking at the genuine struggles that even lower class women in their own countries face, let alone struggles and liberation of women in other parts of the world is telling of its intentions and individualistic view. Honestly i feel like liberal feminism should be a separate term, and this “empowerment” “feminism” should be called something else - and not be called feminism. I believe much of the “empowerment” movement is regressive and anti-feminist. In a sense, it’s even conservative, the way it wants nothing to change functionally, only to maintain current culture and systems, except without any criticism.

TLDR it’s an honest to god shame that liberal feminism is such a mess and is so individualistic, and it’s fucking weird when people say “radical feminism is white feminism” when we seem to be the only ones concerned with anyone but upper-class white people who have the privilege to seek “empowerment” rather than liberation from oppression

[autistic-bowlcut-swag]

Propaganda under the cut

Jeff Andonuts

-Overall characterized as pretty awkward, the kid first introduces himself by listing his flaws (including “I’m very nearsighted” among them, the silly, that’s a neutral trait!) and then saying he wished they could be friends when he literally just saved people that called him over there telepathically with the phrase “friend we never met” in there! Almost like he was rattling off a memorized script in a way and I say this in the most awww look how hard he’s trying way possible. He’s pretty implied to be nocturnal as he works during the night and his specialty is fixing busted technology. He’s very good at it too! His dad was also a scientist but their relationship is interesting? Anyway, tldr his dad was always so absorbed in his work that they hadn’t seen each other in 10 years while Jeff was at boarding school and for context, Jeff is 13. Relationship with mother unknown. Do not ask. We don’t know either. Anyway, he’s got the autistic swag in the tbh stares at you blankly way. You can’t even see his eyes in most official art, so he’s just peak -_- to me right behind Frisk Undertale. Did anyone submit them too? Maybe I will if I have the energy.

-saved my life while i was playing this game also he has guns and can make a lot of gadgets he cannot crit but also cannot miss and hes super genius

Peter

-pathetic below average guy at the beginning of the story, everyone treats him like shit. then he gets possessed by an angel and he has to go kill god. he meets two guys and he falls in love with one of them and through the power of love and friendship and gay people they save the universe and also peter kind of becomes god. anyways its never outright said that hes autistic but he very clearly is and ive never met a single person in the fandom who disagrees. his special interest is rocks and he used to have a job sorting them at the rock factory. he has a pet lizard named lizard. hes still a pretty below average guy throughout all of the god killing stuff also but hes pretty nice and his humanity single handedly changed the narrative. he had gay sex

-autism swag . he likes rocks

-OHHHH BOY. Peter Sqloint was just a dude with a lizard until the archangel of retribution Exandroth possessed him. then he met Rumi (WHO HE WILL LATER HAVE SEX WITH AND MARRY BECAUSE OF HIS AUTISTIC SWAG) and Thanatos (big robot bitch who likes the lizard and hates Gods) (they all hate gods) (they kill gods). Anyway Peter Sqloint is THE Autistic with a Bowl Cut ever :3 OH he beats exandroth in a battle in his mind after he's stabbed by Thanatos (it wasnt his fault, a god put a spell on him). He comes back though, so it's chill

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA if I asked my boyfriend to not use his phone when we go camping with my family or to not come at all?

I have been going camping with my family every year since the yeat I was born. I am an adult now and have been with my boyfriend for several years, and he has come camping with me a few times.

The place we go camping only got cell service/electricity in the past few years. Which means for 90% of my life, I came up here and had to "unplug". I used to not like it as a teen, but as an adult with a real job, I really like getting away from it all. My family is so used to not having internet/ cell service/ wifi up here, that we still use it even though we can now.

This year, I noticed my boyfriend has been on his phone alot scrolling through social media. We camp with a lot of family friends (like, 4+ other families), so we constantly have people popping in and out of our site to hang out, chat, catch up etc etc because our site is in a central location. He obviously doesnt know these family friends as well as I do, but it feels rude that he essentially sits in a corner on his phone when there are "guests visiting". No one else really uses their phones either.

One night there was a firefly between our tent and the tent's rain cover that was putting in light show that was really cool to watch! But my boyfriend kept going on his phone, and the light from his phone was blocking out the firefly lights. I asked him to put his phone away because this was a magical experience for me and his phone was preventing me from seeing it. I felt bad asking him to put his phone away, but I have been camping here for XX number of years and having a firefly that close has never happened.

I think thats when I started to get concerned with his phone use. The idea that this magical once and a life time nature experience was happening, and he would rather be scrolling through social media which he can do the other 358 days a year. He also like to "update me" on all the horrible doom scrolling he sees on twitter etc, as well as try to show me memes and "group chat jokes." Even when we have people over and Im talking to them. He is NEVER like that in the "real world"

I talked to him about he behavoir a little bit, and he said that since he has ADHD he needs to be constantly stimulated and can't just "sit there and do nothing." I normally read while camping but he hates reading, so that doesnt work for him. He also complained about how my family just "sits around" while we go camping. I didn't say anything because I was embarrassed to tell him that I like that about camping too.

I have been thinking about asking him to either use his phone less next year, or to not come next year (he hasnt come every single year with me anyways, depending on his schedule). Cause to be it seems like he's not enjoying the 'camping' part of camping. I don't want to force my "unplugged lifestyle" on him if he really cant stand it. Nor do I want it to be an ultimatum that he has to "conform to my unplugged lifestyle, or not come." I also feel like asking him not to come is going to hurt his feelings a lot. This would have been easier if our campsite never got service or internet. He used to be a boy scout and go on week+ long camping trips, so its not like he's new to camping as a whole.

tldr: Im annoyed by my boyfriends excessive phone use while camping. WIBTA if I asked him to either stop or not come next year?

What are these acronyms?

[silenthillprincess]

big rant but who cares if all someone talks about when they talk about PD is cannibalism? who cares? i dont. doesn’t affect me. if it affects you block ‘em queen it’s your phone but everyone being angry all the time about how someone else is discussing/internalizing/talking about music makes the fandom generally unenjoyable and hard to interact with especially when everything is a contest of who can find the “deepest” layer of the album to contemplate.

if you’re a normal person who kindly suggests looking deeper into the album’s other themes to further other’s enjoyment and experience you’re an angel baby and i love you and this is not about you baby girl sweetie pie you can just scroll and keep being a little gift from god okay? get yourself a little treat and a glass of water yeah?

poorly done tldr: why are we surprised a popular album that mentions cannibalism attracts fans of cannibalism and why are we being incredibly cruel to them for liking it!

(contd below)

but if you comment shit about how they’re fake fans or shallow or dumb or “obviously didn’t REALLY listen to it” this is def for you. if you are normal about your opinions i repeat this is not for you. just scroll

also i’m very high writing all of this so any lore discrepancies are because my brain is sooo scrambled but i’m trying here

But anyways: you don’t have to agree with the person no one’s holding you at gunpoint asking you to or at least i’m not. but you also don’t have to hate in them for it because who fucking cares? no one interacts with ethel cain content just to see someone in the comments going “um it’s NOT just about cannibalism y’know. what a shallow interpretation you obviously didn’t understand it. you didn’t really listen to the album if that’s the most interesting part to you. you’re a fake fan and dumb stupid dummy.” (<this is an exaggerated mock up of the general sentiment. i’m not good at capturing their extremely condescending tone while also being void of actual insult because i’m a nice person almost 24/7)

also, if the other themes are so interesting and important to you: talk about them yourself. i want to hear your thoughts! you have good ideas but you’re making others feel bad for no real reason. like imagine if you shared an opinion about this album or another and I insulted it? you wouldn’t like that would you? also (i can’t believe i have to explain this) some people don’t connect with the other themes of the album or do but less so. some people just really like cannibalism metaphors. it could just be their fav part of the album. plus they’re not official music analyzers (not even a real job i’m pretty sure) what they say doesn’t have to change your opinion and doesn’t affect the art at all. they are an account on tumblr. their interpretation shouldn’t upset you to the point where you have to go out of your way to insult their ideas or intelligence. also not to be that girl but it’s the most shocking part of the album UH DUH PPL FOCUS ON IT. a first time listener is obviously going to go “holy shit he ate her” and talk talk talk about it bc name another pretty popular album at this time that talks (well, sings) about cannibalism. and to go on: not everyone is some deep critic. make the jokes, hyper focus on it if you want, and don’t let random tumblr accounts make you feel bad. i love the other aspects of the album and tend to focus on them the most but that’s not a rule or a law. its just a preference of the albums themes the same way you have one and they have one and you should respect it because it’s not hurting anyone. everyone will be fine and nothing will change except that you didn’t whine about how they’re interpreting music the wrong way and everyone will be happier and i will not have to scroll past your hate comment and think “ugh somebody gag this bitch” (side note: you can argue that the objective right way to interpret art is the same way the artist does how boring would that be? make it personal girl! have fun!)

anyways if you get mad about this check yourself because it’s text on a screen telling you to let ppl live and leave them alone and if that really pisses you off…well…you got other problems. little nervous to post but i really feel like i’m right here because if we could all scroll #ethelcain without intermittent hate posts directed towards other fans for thinking a thought and instead just more content related to the art i think we’d all be happier. i’d like to add that it’s not an overwhelming amount of posts, not a flood or saturation, just enough that i’m like “why! why are you fighting! you like the same thing! be friends!”

secondary point (unrelated mostly): i’ve seen people saying that the metaphor doesn’t exist inside the album and it’s a bit of a muddy opinion about that on my part. i don’t believe isaiah’s consumption of ethel is out of love. it is (in my interpretation) a depraved desire to be filled like the many others humans have but often don’t give in to and also possibly drug enhanced. but as she’s consumed i can’t help but imagine that since she has been chasing love all this time, ethel “finds” it (or rather conjures it out of thin air and the cruelty exacted upon her) for her own comfort as many of us do when being butchered (in the metaphorical sense for us i hope, stay safe out there). but i will agree with the other side that at the very end of the album the illusion seems to fade, and the metaphor no longer works because ethel no longer believes it was love. she sees that true love was dancing with Willoughby in nebraska with all the windows open, not eaten in a windowless basement by Isaiah (not sure where the actual consumption takes place btw. basement, attic, kitchen table, living room tv dinner style idk)

edit: and if you think Hayden would be into you policing how ppl listen to/interpret her album you’re crazy. she herself was normal about her preferences for these themes, stating her understanding of people en captured by that particularity and her own personal sentiments (negative like many of yours) without making anyone feel bad or coming off as snobbish when asked about it. be more like her! plus no one wants to see infighting while scrolling her hashtag! respectful debates yes but jabs at intelligence no!

more edits: this post is meant to end infighting, not elicit a negative/aggressive response. its is supposed to inspire you to be quiet instead of mean. i also do not collect the aforementioned posts like weird trophies to show you when you say “but i haven’t seen that“ good! that’s great! but i’m a normal girl so i don’t have them screenshotted and ready to serve to you on a silver platter.

[lochrannn]

Sending this ask to a few tua accounts!

Diegolila is probably my favorite ship in the show, but I've been thinking about this a lot lately. What would you change about their relationship in season 4? Obviously they're not in the honeymoon phase anymore, and they have three kids, so I feel like naturally they would go through a rough patch. But what made me sad in season 4 was that none of it got fixed. The five/lila relationship aside, it was weird to see Lila be just completely disconnected from Diego and not come to any realizations about her relationship with him, especially because she IS a deep character and she really does love him. Plus, I don't completely agree with her being a housewife either. It hurts to see them fight and stuff because I feel like they're 2 characters who are really in sync with each other and who make each other better people, but it hurt a lot more when their arcs ended in them basically not really loving each other anymore.

TLDR how would you rewrite their relationship in season 4? Would Lila still be a housewife/Diego a delivery driver? Who would try to fix the relationship first? Why would the relationship go through the rough patch in the first place? Is it because they're both just tired of each other/suburban life/kids? Or is it something else? Would they try to fix it in the first place?

Sorry this is a really long ask, but I love all your tua takes and I feel like they ripped off Diego and Lila in the worst way this season. Would love to know your thoughts.

Sorry, this took me a while to get to but it's an interesting ask!

There is a small issue I'm having though and that's that I'm sort of answering some of that questoin in the fic I'm writing, and, while that might sound self-indulgent, I don't wanna spoil it XD

That being said, I think I can definitely think about some of the specifics you're asking about.

In terms of how, in general, could one do something with the fact that after 6 years and 3 kids with no fun up relationship in which they could have properly got to know each other ahead of time and that probably causes some issues down the road, I had actually started planning out a fic about a year ago and then never wrote it and now won't as I'm using some stuff in the fic I am writing.

My initial plan also included Lila starting to sneak and withdrawing but instead of cheating it turns out she's been drawn in by the commissoin, some alt version of the Handler who has her convinced that the Diego she's living with is not her Diego... listen, I was going to work out the time travel/time line mechanics later, basically I was trying to get to a Mr & Mrs Smith (the movie) style blow out fight that ends with them smooching.

What I'm saying is, with how volitile their relationship has always been, making them not be all functional is a logical step in the story telling, I take no issue with that. But previous precedent had always been that they care enough to try and find a messy way back to being together, that whatever else, that's more important to them, and just taking that completely away is what bugs me most.

Anyway, to your specific questions: there's a lot of people headcanoning Diego as a stay at home dad, and I guess, yeah, possible, but I think he's a bit to feral for that and on that note, so i Lila, so I would have them both have meh jobs that they hate their bosses at and part of what has caused strain on the relationship is that they are both endlessly busy and find no eral time for each other. (Which also leads to a way to resolve this issue in decent communication and them making an effort to be a couple again).

I have in the past written some fics where I immagined them as a family living the suburban life and Lila finding it...trying... but in my head, she would treat it like a mission, do both the best job she can at it, while basically trying as hard as possible to infiltrate every element of this unfamiliar world and then for some shits and giggles, sow some benign chaos.

Diego being Dad with a mustache and too much care for his van and telling people to take their shoes off in his home tracks. I have no notes. Other than the weird bits where they made him say the words claiming he resents this life but then make him good at it and seem pretty happy, I think they nailed Dad Diego. Shame they made him miserable on puprose, but I digress.

I really enjoyed the first four episodes because I was convinced Diego and Lila would both learn something and want to be together again, I don't think that is trite, I think that is how adult relationships go some times. Lila.... well....

Thanks for the ask!

I haven't been posting much about my thoughts on the season because they are quite jumbled and I'm not pushed to go back and watch it again (which is a real fucking shame, but here we are) to try and sort some details out.

What are your thoughts?

[theproverbialpen]

Musings from a Hazbin Fan and Hotel Employee

Yeah, that's right—I'm posting to this blog for the first time in years because I got into Hazbin Hotel of all things. Not only did I get into this cursed fandom, I'm writing fan fiction for it. Fan fiction. I think the last time I wrote fanfiction was...2012? 2013? And I only ever told 3 people about that one. Now here I am posting on main. The brainrot truly is unquantifiable.

If you're one of the few people that survived the purge of those I know IRL, congratulations. Please don't judge me lol. Anyways, actual musings are below the cut!

So I’m writing a fun little fanfic on AO3 and after someone left a comment (if you’re reading this, still genuinely one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me about my craft), it occured to me—as a Hazbin Hotel enjoyer, I have a pretty unique perspective on the series as an IRL hospitality professional. So! Thought it would be some cute bonus content to talk a little bit more about my life at an actual hotel and how it’s impacted my experience with Vivziepop’s hit series. 

Please note: this is written purely for shits and giggles. I don’t actually have any issues with the setting of Vivzie’s narrative or how it plays into the stories she and her team want to tell. I fucking love this show, to a potentially unhealthy degree, and I haven’t had this much fun with a series since like…okay well my hyperfixations change like every few months, but still. Point is, this isn’t actually critique, or satire, or anything with negative or critical intentions. TLDR; this post is for funsies, get off my dick.

So Who TF Am I, Anyways?

A little background on myself, for context. I’ve been employed at my hotel for almost a year now, and it’s my first hospitality job. I work in the Sales and Events department and I’ve come to learn that Group Business is actually integral for keeping a hotel up and running. When your average person (read: me before this job) thinks about hotels and traveling, you’d think it’s all about the families, bloggers, and individual travelers when it comes to guests and revenue. But in actuality, most of a hotel’s revenue—at least in the market I work in—will come from contracted room blocks and events. 

That’s where folks in my department come in. We work with clients to negotiate contracts and secure occupants for our hotel year round. Simply put, if we don’t do our jobs well, then no one else gets hours. So as much as the anti-capitalist in me will sometimes hate being a cog in the machine, it is really fulfilling to be able to help clients meet their needs while also making sure my coworkers are able to put food on the table. 

Speaking of being a cog in the machine, because of my role in Sales, this means that whenever I travel or think about hotels, I’m always thinking about the revenue side of things. I also work more with the Events team, so operations are also on the forefront of my mind. Which leads me to my principal quandary for this little blog post:

How in the Hell does the Hazbin Operate?

I have a laundry list of questions. A laundry list that’s almost as big as the actual pile of dirty laundry that is currently plaguing my bedroom floor. I will summarize (which is a generous word given how fucking verbose I can be) below:

Issue #1: Revenue Generation

Okay listen, I know Charlie is the Princess of Hell. I know she probably has unlimited capital, whatever that looks like in the HelluVerse. And I know the Hazbin is literally there to help rehabilitate people so charging them to stay would be counterproductive.

But my dude…do you understand how much money would be needed to run an operation of this scale?

At the end of Season 1, the new Hazbin is huge. Like it easily looks as big, if not bigger, than the hotel I work at which has nearly 500 rooms. Do you know how much revenue our team has to generate to keep this place running? Do you know how many millions our target goal is set at for each quarter? How many hundreds of thousands my coworkers’ individual quotas are set to? And sunshine in a bottle over here doesn’t charge her residents anything????? 

How does she get all those decorations? How does she order food or inventory? We know Hell has an economy, like Angel literally says he needs to save money for drugs in his first appearance. Is she…does she even pay her staff???

It is utterly appalling that Charlie is able to operate a hotel of this scale, both because of how it doesn’t make sense from a business perspective and because there are IRL billionaires that could probably do the same thing and solve homelessness overnight. 

Speaking of scale:

Issue #2: The Hazbin’s Systems, Or Lack Thereof

Okay so, yes, there’s only like…one official resident of the hotel, maybe two if Cherri moves in and doesn’t become a staff member (RIP Pentious, you would have loved living with Cherri Bomb). With the staff the way it is, that’s a solid 5:1 ratio, which is beyond ideal. But—and I touch on this in the fic—I feel I must reiterate: the new Hazbin is fucking massive. And you know what that means? It’s going to be able to hold a lot of guests. Guests that will need staff to take care of them. Let’s review:

Charlie is the owner and mostly teaches classes. Vaggie is the co-owner and kind of acts as the Executive Assistant to Charlie’s General Manager. I guess Alastor is the Hotel Manager? I’m gonna be honest, I have no idea what he does, but generally speaking he’s supposed to be the jack of all trades and manage the rest of the staff. Niffty handles Housekeeping and I guess would be the director of that. Husk is the bartender but like canonically only really eats pub food so he definitely can’t be the Food & Beverage head. 

Let’s say we scrap the Sales and Revenue Departments because clearly they don’t need income, but we keep a Marketing position so that Charlie can get the word out about the hotel. That leaves us with the need for Engineering, Front Desk, Rooms, and F&B staff. And like, not just one person—that would fucking suck—but proper staff. And given their track record of organization and managing the hotel…let’s just say, I would not be applying to the Hazbin Hotel anytime soon. Honestly, it sounds like that job would qualify to be the new tenth circle of Hell. 

What Does the Hazbin Get Right About IRL Hospitality?

So yes, clearly the world of the Hazbin Hotel leans towards the more fanciful—it is a story about Hell after all. However, there have been some moments that have made me chuckle as a hotel employee, things that are relatable for us in the hospitality world. Allow me to highlight them for you below:

Everyone is Bat Shit Crazy

Hospitality professionals are weird. So weird. Before I started my job, I was terrified of the level of professionality I would need to have. When I first got hired, I was given a whole packet on dress code and appropriate conduct. As you can probably tell from my writing style, this was concerning: I can be professional when I need to be, but I cannot maintain that guise for extended periods of time. Call it my toxic trait.

I also already had this impression of poised and put-together hotel staff from my previous experiences with travel. All the Front Desk agents would be in these clean and wrinkle-free clothes with kind yet business-forward attitudes, office workers would be walking around in full suits, and occasionally you’d see the hotel management on the floor if you were looking. Let me tell you now—it is a facade. An act. An incredible stage production unfolding in real time where all the staff do their absolute damndest to make you feel like you are in an organized and professional institution. Not unlike a certain hit animated musical.

My direct supervisor, the literal Director of Catering and Events, once told me that being a liiiiiittle crazy was a prerequisite for working in our department during the hiring process for a new Sales Manager. She was wrong—the prerequisite is not “a little” crazy. The prerequisite is being bat shit insane. And it’s not just our department, oh noooOoooOo, it is every department. Downstairs in our little basement dungeon, we make out of pocket comments, scream at random intervals, and swear way more than we should (that one might be my fault…according to my partner I swear more at work than at home and apparently it’s rubbing off on my colleagues), but that behavior is in no way restricted to just the Sales Team. 

I process the checks that are sent to our property and our Director of Rooms makes me say “can I get a WITNESSSS” before she signs off on the drop log (Charlie-core). If I don’t say it high pitched enough or with enough vigor, she makes me do it again. I once watched a guy in Engineering climb a tall step ladder balanced with two legs on a platform and a third leg balanced on a wooden plank his coworker was holding steady. The fourth leg was over the open air. Let me reiterate: the open. Fucking. Air. Tell me you can’t see Angel Dust and Cherri doing that shit.

Speaking of Engineering, you wanna know what dumbass thing happened just this morning? The Regional Director of the department—regional meaning he manages teams all across our area, like top level type shit—told us about this cursed ass Instagram trend he found where allegedly, putting ketchup on a Kit Kat tasted like fudge. So right there and then, him, myself, and two other coworkers decided ‘why the fuck not?’:

I would never seek it out willingly again, but I honestly didn’t hate it. 

The point of all of this is to say—the antics the Hazbin crew get up to? Totally realistic. I could see my coworker Robert throwing me into an active battlefield against my will. We have deadass done the role playing thing Angel and Pentious did during our trainings, and it was just as unhinged. Every day some shit happens at this hotel and I’m just like, “Yup. That could happen in Hazbin.”

“Call Now! Or Don’t! I Don’t Care! We Still Don’t Have a Working Phone!”

I would like to preface this section by saying: if you happen to be a Front Desk associate, I’m sorry. This is not directed at you, this is directed at your managers and their communication skills that may or may not exist. If you are somehow a manager reading this, uh—first of all, cringe. Second of all, I hope these next few paragraphs don’t apply to you. If they do and you’re offended: that’s a certified you-problem, babes. 

There are three certainties in this life: death, taxes, and miscommunication from your fucking managers. Tell me why in this past week alone I have been in 5 different email threads regarding fuck-ups and complaints from guests about things that we had clearly communicated. Tell me why in these email threads, people were attempting to throw me under the bus or shift the blame to my team. Tell me why I have gone to every single individual office in my department complaining about this. Tell me why this isn’t the first time this has happened.

Another hotel tidbit: across the board, Q1 (Jan-Mar) is supposed to be slow, for all of hospitality. It’s the time to get the metaphorical phone lines working, ya know? Our Q1 was stupidly busy, so I get it, people were slammed and short staffed. But like… we had time. Time to iron out our communication, time to create systems and processes that would ensure we’d be all set when things got busier. Yet here I am at the start of Q2 with an entire fist shoved up my ass being puppeted around to fix other people’s mistakes. 

It’s times like these when I go back to rewatch Hazbin for the like 26th time and I watch Charlie and Alastor run the hotel and I’m just like “whyyYyYyYyYyYy”. Like I KNOW Vaggie has had days where she’s like, “what…what am I supposed to be doing right now? Like what is my job, what… What?” 

It’s not just Front Desk either. It’s every department, even my own bosses. Like the call is coming from inside the house, sweetie, why did you tell this Sales Manager that I was taking care of all her commissions but you didn’t tell me this. Why am I blocking a room for an Orientation the following Monday at fucking 5:45 PM on a Friday. Why am I JUST finding out about a VIP guest when I have been asking you if you had any notes for me for the whole week.

I touch on it in my fic as well but like…pretty sure Charlie just, decides to host her classes day of. And that drives me insane. Like I…there are processes. Things that need to be done so that everyone is on the same page. You don’t just wing this shit, that’s how you end up with Susan calling your Director to tell her that you’re a useless waste of space not even deserving of the air in your lungs because you didn’t give her her fucking breakfast voucher. 

As a character, I love Alastor. If I were ever in the same room as him, I’d probably hate him. But if there’s anything relatable about that Geneva Convention Violation on Legs it’s his absolutely done attitude in Episode 1’s opening commercial.

Charlie Loves Helping People, and So Do We!

Alright, I’ve complained for enough paragraphs, let’s be positive for a second. The thing that is by far the most true to life in Hazbin Hotel is how much joy Charlie gets from taking care of her guests. Like…that’s our bread and butter in the hospitality world. Well, maybe just the butter; we need that bread in the form of cold hard cash (or direct deposits, whatever works best). But as much as I will bitch and moan about the difficulties of working in a hotel, there’s nothing quite as fulfilling as a guest telling you that you made their entire trip better. The butterflies I get reading reviews where my coworkers are mentioned by name and a guest writes about how we completely turned around their bad day are an absolute delight. It just means the world knowing that you can have that kind of impact on someone, even if it’s just in the little things.

In Episode 2, when Charlie and the crew are welcoming Sir Pentious and she just starts vibrating with excitement is exactly how I feel when I get to meet a client that we’ve been working with for months and finally welcome them to our property. When they sing “It Starts With Sorry” and just get to have a moment of empathy and compassion together, it reminds me of the clients and the phone calls I take where I get to ask them about their goals and help them feel like they’re supported and heard. In the grand scheme of things, is a nice phone call or interaction with some hotel employee going to change your life? Probably not. But for those few moments when their burdens seem lighter is why I love my job.

This goes for guests, and for my fellow coworkers. I’ve been very blessed to start my hospitality career in an unusually supportive work culture. Yeah, we can be some right petty bitches sometimes, but overall everyone is so encouraging and so quick to help lighten each other’s loads. Like in Episode 5 (best episode btw, for obvious reasons) when all the Hazbin Crew are working together to prepare the hotel for Lucifer’s arrival, that shit made me so giddy cause like- that’s us! Look at us go! We workin together so hard, we’re so cute! Like when Niffty and Pentious are baking and she looks up at him all excited n’ shit—that’s literally been me working with our Director of Restaurants on new food menus or promotional material. 

There’s something about being in an occupation where your whole purpose is to take care of people that really brings out the selflessness in you, and I think that’s what makes the hotel such a great setting for Charlie’s mission of redemption. I didn’t realize that until writing this paragraph tbh, but yeah, it just kinda…works. When your job is to make sure other people have a good time and feel supported and you’re surrounded by people that make you feel the same way, it’s a lot easier to want to choose to do good, to do right by the people around you. So as much as I have some silly little nitpicks…yeah, I can admit—I love that this show is about the Hazbin Hotel specifically.

Anyways, if you made it this far, thanks for reading! Next update for Life is In Redemption will be out in the days to come, just thought this would be a fun addition while I work on some of the content with my friends. This upcoming chapter is going to have a co-author, so get hyyyyyped :)

[otto-c-graves]

Hey, Tumblr, I have some rants.

Boy howdy, how do I start this? With an old fashioned Otto style and by apologizing.

I really hate ranting. I do.

But my boss who is so sweet, and I do not deserve, is back at it again.

She approached me today and told me that her son had been seeing his girlfriend for over a year and she came out as asexual. Her words I’m quoting.

And I said, you know, how glad I was for her and really glad for them both and that I hoped they continued to be together. And I genuinely do, I adore seeing people in love and having a deep emotional connection. That’s what I’m here for. And this was all find and dandy until she said the next part.

She went on to say that this girl said that she hadn’t experienced any sexual attraction before, but being with my boss’s son made her feel attracted to him in that way.

And this was fine.

And I replied back with perhaps she was demisexual. But either way I was still really glad his girlfriend came to this conclusion. That I was glad for her that she found someone willing to be with her despite what her orientation was. And it was what my boss said next that I didn’t think about a few minutes after she said it and too long to reply.

She said that her son’s girlfriend, having come to realize her deeper feelings for the son, was proof that orientation was fluid.

And at first I was like. Yeah, okay. I can see that. In some cases I’m sure it is and I support you all that this applies to. You’re doing great, you.

But I can’t help but feel that she was aiming that at me. Like, because her son’s girlfriend realized she did feel sexually attracted to her boyfriend, my boss even going so far as saying she’s sure they’ve been intimate, that I could also change over time.

Believe me, I have tasted infinity but it’s just not the cup of tea for me.

And in that moment of realization, I thought how do I tell her that it doesn’t always happen that way? How do I tell her that some Ace people will be intimate with their partners, but they’re not into it, they’re doing it because they love their partner and wish to make them feel good? How do I tell her that some aces want sex but they’re not attracted to it or the person they’re sleeping with in that way?

I know a lot of you will say, just tell her! And that’s easier said than done. I am not a confrontational guy. And I can’t really make a stand for myself well. Keep in mind this is the same boss that wanted to set me up with someone, but hadn’t because I was ace.

I know she means well. That she doesn’t know much about the ace spectrum. But it’s so hard to bring it up to her when literally none of my conservative coworkers know I’m ace or even queer. Truthfully, I think a lot of people would hate me if they found out. And I need to keep my job.

But, despite all this, this boss is truly the best. She’s a good friend. I trust her. But she just makes me want to grind my teeth on aluminum foil when she unintentionally jabs at me like that. I love her dearly, but ouch. If that is indeed the case.

Anyway. TLDR, goodnight, tumblr.

[anonymousad]

read MORE carefully when you feel attacked, not less

I honestly wonder about the reading comprehension of some people because some of the reactions to my posts seem to go like this:

me: I think pancakes are better than waffles other person: WHAT THE FUCK, WHY DO YOU HATE WAFFLES

and... no, that isn't what I said?

I didn't say people don't deserve to be compensated for their work, I said that you can't be trying to pay people like it's a salaried job without having that kind of stable and consistent business income. that's literally how businesses go bankrupt all the time.

I also didn't say that you can't/shouldn't be able to make money in audio drama, I said that you need to do it SUSTAINABLY. off the top of my head I can name several shows that do just that (WOE.BEGONE and Malevolent being two I've mentioned in the past), not to mention people like Lauren Shippen. timing and luck have a lot to do with success, absolutely, so that isn't to say it is easy or guaranteed if you follow in those kinds of steps, but it does show that it can be done in ways that are self-sustaining rather than constantly asking for large cash drops to stay afloat.

speaking of, I didn't compare Harlan to JK Rowling, I pointed out how "death of the author" has been deployed by people who don't want to face HER hatefulness while still engaging with Harry Potter (I know many people like this as we all do I'm sure) as an example of why you have to be cautious when throwing it around as an excuse.

and I definitely didn't say that a Black woman was hoarding resources by having a crowdfunding campaign with a high goal??? very weird assumption for you to draw from what I actually WAS talking about, person on Bluesky. almost like you didn't actually read and understand that whole section before trying to jump down my throat about it.

I have found, both in writing this blog and generally in life, that the more people feel defensive the less they are able to engage with what is being said. anyone who has ever tried to argue for trans or gay rights with a right winger has experienced this, it's the reason that "debate bro" types are so successful. you pick out the parts that make you feel angry and you go on a tirade about them, rather than stepping back and trying to synthesize the whole message.

not once has one of the people defensive about the crowdfunding stuff addressed my key point of it being "unsustainable" in their responses to it. that is literally the thesis, sidestepping it does not make it go away. it just reinforces to me and others that you are not thinking long-term about what will and won't work for us as a community.

I should also say that none of what I post comes just from me. every single thing I've said on this blog has come from at least a few different people. it is not a one-person opinion party, something I'm not sure I've ever said outright. especially with the crowdfund stuff I have had conversations with at least a dozen showrunners who all think the current methods do not work, are not sustainable, and are only benefitting the same people over and over. I have these conversations with my "colleagues" (because I can't think of another word) in the space because I find it interesting and important and valuable. I am engaging with these conversations outside of this blog because I have an emotional investment in us as a community figuring this out so that we can thrive.

I still regret not making this blog when I first desperately wanted to to talk about The Magnus Protocol campaign. (I do have thoughts on the TMA ttrpg though, as a general thing that exists and also based in some basic understanding of how the selected system was a bad choice for what people will be hoping to get from this thing so people will likely be disappointed once they actually play it)

anyway, that's all I have to say on that right now.

tldr: I know my posts are long and there is a lot to get through sometimes. but if you are going to fixate on one sentence and ignore the larger context you are setting yourself up to misunderstand the actual point being made. and yes, there is usually a point, one that I find important enough to bother writing about in the first place.

actually, I should also say that I would be more than willing to have a conversation with Tal or someone else from that part of the community who believes that the current crowdfunding model is working and will continue to work in the long run. seriously, if I am missing something obvious then explain it to me so I can understand what about this is working. and I don't just mean working for you, I mean working for the community and creators as a whole. because I still see a lot of campaigns fail for much less, even when following the vague tips being handed out about how to run a successful campaign.